Real Verses Fake

     Tonight I got a fresh glimpse of what opening your heart to love does. I opened my heart to love and suddenly entertainment did not look attractive. So is that why I am so drawn to movies and shows? Is it because I am continually shutting my heart to love? I am very suspicious that that is exactly what it is. I opened my heart and tears ran down my face.
     Lord, help me to keep my heart open to You and those around me. When I fail or feel that once again I have missed the mark, help me to keep my heart open to You. Lord, I want the realness of You to be so precious to me that I will tread carefully and yet with joy that You are with me. Help me to hear Your still small voice in the midst of the storm. Give me the strength to act on it. Lord, help me value what is real and true.
     My addiction in wanting to watch things all the time did not go away with a year of fasting. Now, comes dealing with the monster, again. Tonight gave me a look into what I do that might have a bearing on it. Ministry comes through love, acceptance and forgiveness. How can I receive it if my heart is closed up?

     I am thankful for: The longsufferingness of  God.
                           Work.
                            Connor and the privilege to babysit last week.
                            Jerry and his love.
                            Stacie and that she is getting to teach in Illinois.
                            Debi who stretches me and makes me think about what it is to be a Christian.
                            Jolene and the goals she is reaching for.
                            Brandon and his interest in life and involvement in it.
                            Melissa and her mothering of Connor.
                            Chris and his new house and independence.
                            New beginnings and new stages of life.
                            Being able to go to PA this weekend with Stacie for my parents auction. (Lord, please let their place sell.)     Bradley being able to fly out and drive out with Stacie to Ill. (Devoutly thankful for this.)
                             Jerry being able to go the writer's convention.
                             Church friends, especially ones that pray for you.
                             And church.
                           
                             

    Isn't family one of the most precious things? I try to treasure the moments. On Sunday, during the combined efforts of Jolene, Chris (who comes home for our traditional Sunday lunch), Jerry and I (Stacie and Debi were elsewhere) Jolene suddenly asks, "Did someone shoot the cat?" Just out of the blue! I gulp and turn away. (I do not have a poker face.) Jerry says, "What cat?" I said that I thought she surely would have forgotten about it by now.
    To give a bit of back story.. We had decided, we being Jerry and I, that we were not having any animals any more. Too busy and kids too busy. Well this feral cat decides to make us its home. Now this cat is the reverse of beautiful. The only thing it had going for it was its face. There were too many factors against it though. It was drawing other cats and cat fights and the smell of cat poop in my landscaping was gross. One morning I hear a shot so I ask Jerry what he shot figuring on an annoying bird or squirrel and he said the cat. Jolene was not at home so I swore everyone to secrecy as she had decided the cat was cute and nice. I did not want her traumatized at that time as she was going through something. I don't remember what.
    That was all quite a few weeks ago and Jolene has been really busy with her paramedic schooling and ride alongs plus sewing for people on the side. And here out of the blue comes the question. I said, "You were supposed to think she died on the road or something." Anyway, she got a kick out of Jerry's, "What cat?" And we were all laughing and she said, "Oh no, anything disappears around here and I know what happened!"