There seemed to be more mixed feelings with Christmas this year than usual. I could not do my usual candy and food making which I missed. Our immediate family was scattered on actual Christmas Day. This is rather minor stuff but then there was more important stuff that we encountered. There is nothing quite like a family in harmony but when that harmony is broken it leaves some sadness. Thankfully there were times of good fellowship. I am more philosophical about such things now than when I was younger. I realize that healing can take place and relationships can be restored. Thank-you Jesus and may it be so in this one. Today with my side of the family here minus my two brothers and their families, I realized how much I appreciate that we can stop in the midst of games and visiting and pray for someone who needs it. Debi, if you are reading this, their prayers were heartfelt and earnest on your behalf. Another thing that caused mixed feelings is seeing Jerry's dad in Ohio moving so very slowly and haltingly. And hearing my dad tonight talk of having slight symptoms of cancer again. You hope against hope that it won't return and in the end you say "Not my will but Thine be done."
I am grateful for the time of fellowship with Dales in Ohio. I am thankful for the time with Jerry's parents. I am thankful for John Yoders opening their home for us on Christmas day and learning the new game of fast rummy cube. :) For Jerry's mom who herself has no animals but feeds about four very large cats and puts grandson's dog in the garage so she'll be warm. We left early the day after Christmas and the four cats were lined up outside the sliding glass doors waiting for their food. That Mom and Dad could come down for this weekend. I treasure each moment with them. For the girls safe return from Illinois and that they had a good time. Thank-you to the Ron Kennel family.
Lord, help us to be lights in this dark world. Help us to lift the hands that hang down, to praise you and magnify you. Help us to pierce the darkness. Show us how, teach us, oh Lord, I pray.
Saturday, December 28, 2013
Friday, December 20, 2013
Liberty Verses Liberalism
I am hibernating in my bedroom at the moment. Chris is having friends over to play games and my foot is out of commission. It takes about so much than that's it. Jerry is doing the weekly shopping because he does not think I should do it until my foot is better. Debi is still at work. And the girls are in Illinois.
Worked today for five straight hours. When I saw the house my heart sank. I was actually not sure I could get it done in the allotted five hours and not sure if my foot would hold up for that amount of time to start with. The orthopedist really built my brace up so my foot gets really sore. I wore it until about ten thirty having gotten there at eight then took it off. What amazed me is how well it went after that. Maybe the sports therapist's work is already kicking in! Marvelous thought.
I was going to go on a rant about liberalism, etc. but not sure if I want to now. Liberalism is so different from actual liberty it boggles the mind. When I think of liberty I think of fresh clean air and water clear as crystal. When I think of liberalism I think of fog, smog, stagnation and filth. Why is that? To be at liberty, freedom from fear, all kinds of fear. Free of bondage. Free of horrible, debilitating sin. Actual freedom to do God's will. Freedom to follow the Holy Spirit's gentle promptings. Liberalism, on the other hand, is always trying to free wickedness. Dabbling in all sorts of horrors. Creating all sorts of bondages. I am talking of secular liberalism here. I see it up close and personal. What blows my mind is they really don't like the results in their children. No, I guess what blows my mind is that it does not wake them up.
More and more I see why it is so hard to be a Christian for many, many people. It is too simplistic. It gives answers, real concrete answers. You have to become as a little child, trusting, looking to the Father. You have to lay down that intellect, all that education and let God and scripture teach you things. It is a high price. And the scorn from your contemporaries would be intense. The teaching that it is complicated and that there are no answers will have to be forsaken. There are answers! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I am so happy about this. We can believe this. It is true. It is sad to me that the church has bought into that teaching. People can be set free! They do not have to be in a horrible struggle the rest of their life. They can live a life free of life altering fear, etc. What does the church have to offer if it can't help people to freedom. Yes, Jesus, certainly, but in Christ is all we need. Half the time we don't believe it or practice it. Talking to myself here.
Now for another subject. The sports therapist said I need to lose weight. Jerry had some insight as to what I need to do. It is kinda (yeah, yeah I know it is not a word) like counting the cost. I need to let go mentally of food and maybe even mourn about it. He said if I can do it in my mind than all I have to do is implement it. I am trying to get a hold of this. If I go on this anti-inflammatory diet I will not be able to have Wendy's Bacon Portabella Melt so where is my black dress? I want to start on the diet on the first of January. Either that or start in gradually with just not eating any sweets and then progressing to more until I am on the complete plan. Any advice?
Blessings: A whole week off. Yay! There were two dogs here. They were no longer here today. Two rooms full of young men laughing and talking. I am thankful that there are still a lot of people who stand for what is right. I am thankful for my husband. Just a note to us wives: We ought to be devoutly grateful if we have a good husband. Good-night.
Worked today for five straight hours. When I saw the house my heart sank. I was actually not sure I could get it done in the allotted five hours and not sure if my foot would hold up for that amount of time to start with. The orthopedist really built my brace up so my foot gets really sore. I wore it until about ten thirty having gotten there at eight then took it off. What amazed me is how well it went after that. Maybe the sports therapist's work is already kicking in! Marvelous thought.
I was going to go on a rant about liberalism, etc. but not sure if I want to now. Liberalism is so different from actual liberty it boggles the mind. When I think of liberty I think of fresh clean air and water clear as crystal. When I think of liberalism I think of fog, smog, stagnation and filth. Why is that? To be at liberty, freedom from fear, all kinds of fear. Free of bondage. Free of horrible, debilitating sin. Actual freedom to do God's will. Freedom to follow the Holy Spirit's gentle promptings. Liberalism, on the other hand, is always trying to free wickedness. Dabbling in all sorts of horrors. Creating all sorts of bondages. I am talking of secular liberalism here. I see it up close and personal. What blows my mind is they really don't like the results in their children. No, I guess what blows my mind is that it does not wake them up.
More and more I see why it is so hard to be a Christian for many, many people. It is too simplistic. It gives answers, real concrete answers. You have to become as a little child, trusting, looking to the Father. You have to lay down that intellect, all that education and let God and scripture teach you things. It is a high price. And the scorn from your contemporaries would be intense. The teaching that it is complicated and that there are no answers will have to be forsaken. There are answers! Hallelujah! Praise the Lord! I am so happy about this. We can believe this. It is true. It is sad to me that the church has bought into that teaching. People can be set free! They do not have to be in a horrible struggle the rest of their life. They can live a life free of life altering fear, etc. What does the church have to offer if it can't help people to freedom. Yes, Jesus, certainly, but in Christ is all we need. Half the time we don't believe it or practice it. Talking to myself here.
Now for another subject. The sports therapist said I need to lose weight. Jerry had some insight as to what I need to do. It is kinda (yeah, yeah I know it is not a word) like counting the cost. I need to let go mentally of food and maybe even mourn about it. He said if I can do it in my mind than all I have to do is implement it. I am trying to get a hold of this. If I go on this anti-inflammatory diet I will not be able to have Wendy's Bacon Portabella Melt so where is my black dress? I want to start on the diet on the first of January. Either that or start in gradually with just not eating any sweets and then progressing to more until I am on the complete plan. Any advice?
Blessings: A whole week off. Yay! There were two dogs here. They were no longer here today. Two rooms full of young men laughing and talking. I am thankful that there are still a lot of people who stand for what is right. I am thankful for my husband. Just a note to us wives: We ought to be devoutly grateful if we have a good husband. Good-night.
Monday, December 16, 2013
Ramblings
"Laughter doeth good like medicine." Stacie dancing with her music as she begins straightening up. Throwing away study papers since college is officially done for this semester. Yay! Giddiness has ensued as it ended. Now gift wrapping and packing will be worked on for their trip on Wednesday. Some has already been accomplished. True to form tempers have been a bit short preceding all the exams and for the one making most of her gifts. Hopefully, things can simmer down to a more calm state now. As much as our kids love Illinois and, or its people I start wondering if maybe we should follow them. :)
Uh oh..there she goes again. A song came on that she really likes, evidently.
The bird class is officially over. Exam today. Very easy and I missed one. We had to identify pictures of birds. My first response to one was a Ruddy Duck but I questioned it and changed it to a Bufflehead. First response was right. Anyway, I am inspired to do more birding, get my life list under way and keep yearly lists.
Stacie convinced me today not to go into medical transcription. Her reasoning: Sitting at a computer for hours at a time will drive me nuts. And she wants a mom for the next year or so. Very glad I did not go ahead and pay for the training. She knows me well.
Sharp shooting pains have been going up my shin. Slightly frightening and makes me wonder what now?! I am without my brace until tomorrow sometime. Can't figure out if the shooting pains are coming because of damage the brace has done to my shin or what. Anyway, life goes on more or less. Am really curious what the sports therapist is going to say on Wednesday.
I am weary of being hampered in doing what needs doing. Cooking, cleaning, just walking across the room is a challenge. This is the time of year when I like to cook, make candy, bake, shop, etc. and none of that is going swimmingly.
The new year draws near. Quietly contemplating how to start out this next year and what I would like to accomplish. I would like to live a more orderly life. Not sure if I am capable of it but would like to try. I could use some pointers. The problem is I get bored with routine, seriously bored. Maybe I should just accept it. At the same time there is benefit in routine. I see it in the cleaning jobs we do. You have a routine, things go much faster and more efficiently. People mess with the routine and it slows everything down. The primary thing I want to work on is this foot. I would even like to go on an anti-inflammatory diet, just to see if it would help. And lose weight, of course. My Waterloo. I have started exercising again and want to continue. Another thing that I have started on is making a graph or time line or whatever you call it for the generations in the Bible. It has been niggling at me so I finally started the other night. I know I could probably buy one off the internet but am interested in doing it myself. I would also like to take a computer class sometime so that when they start acting up, I can fix it. Wouldn't that be nice?!
My ramblings will draw to a close with thanksgiving. I am thankful that my foot is not worse than it is. I am thankful that God cares about the little things along with the big things. (In a very full parking lot He emptied one close to the entrance of the mall, I could have wept.) I am thankful that Kingsley had a cancelation this morning so that Debi could get her eyes checked. I am thankful that Stacie could help me with the cleaning job this morning and tomorrow morning. I am thankful that Debi made supper. All these blessings and many more too numerous to mention, I am grateful for. God is good.
Uh oh..there she goes again. A song came on that she really likes, evidently.
The bird class is officially over. Exam today. Very easy and I missed one. We had to identify pictures of birds. My first response to one was a Ruddy Duck but I questioned it and changed it to a Bufflehead. First response was right. Anyway, I am inspired to do more birding, get my life list under way and keep yearly lists.
Stacie convinced me today not to go into medical transcription. Her reasoning: Sitting at a computer for hours at a time will drive me nuts. And she wants a mom for the next year or so. Very glad I did not go ahead and pay for the training. She knows me well.
Sharp shooting pains have been going up my shin. Slightly frightening and makes me wonder what now?! I am without my brace until tomorrow sometime. Can't figure out if the shooting pains are coming because of damage the brace has done to my shin or what. Anyway, life goes on more or less. Am really curious what the sports therapist is going to say on Wednesday.
I am weary of being hampered in doing what needs doing. Cooking, cleaning, just walking across the room is a challenge. This is the time of year when I like to cook, make candy, bake, shop, etc. and none of that is going swimmingly.
The new year draws near. Quietly contemplating how to start out this next year and what I would like to accomplish. I would like to live a more orderly life. Not sure if I am capable of it but would like to try. I could use some pointers. The problem is I get bored with routine, seriously bored. Maybe I should just accept it. At the same time there is benefit in routine. I see it in the cleaning jobs we do. You have a routine, things go much faster and more efficiently. People mess with the routine and it slows everything down. The primary thing I want to work on is this foot. I would even like to go on an anti-inflammatory diet, just to see if it would help. And lose weight, of course. My Waterloo. I have started exercising again and want to continue. Another thing that I have started on is making a graph or time line or whatever you call it for the generations in the Bible. It has been niggling at me so I finally started the other night. I know I could probably buy one off the internet but am interested in doing it myself. I would also like to take a computer class sometime so that when they start acting up, I can fix it. Wouldn't that be nice?!
My ramblings will draw to a close with thanksgiving. I am thankful that my foot is not worse than it is. I am thankful that God cares about the little things along with the big things. (In a very full parking lot He emptied one close to the entrance of the mall, I could have wept.) I am thankful that Kingsley had a cancelation this morning so that Debi could get her eyes checked. I am thankful that Stacie could help me with the cleaning job this morning and tomorrow morning. I am thankful that Debi made supper. All these blessings and many more too numerous to mention, I am grateful for. God is good.
Friday, December 13, 2013
When Hope Comes Knocking
Hope came knocking on my door and changed my outlook. It came from a facebook friend. Sending me a private message with name and phone numbers to a sports therapist, it was like a shot in the arm only better. I called him and my first visit is scheduled for next Wednesday. Yay!
Today I saw the orthepedic Doctor and he took my brace to revamp it. I should have it back by Tuesday. He is on our side about the surgery. He said he has seen too many of those that did not work out well. The problem now is how to get by until Tuesday afternoon. I have to work both Monday and Tuesday forenoons so am trying to figure out how to get by with it since taking off is not really going to make some people happy. (Not a good sentence but I don't feel like changing it.)
I have studied for my final on Monday. Hopefully, I will ace it. Our last birdwatching class. Almost feel sad. I have enjoyed it and will watch my chance to learn more.
Right now I am contemplating taking training to become a medical transcriptionist. I just don't want to spend the money for the training if it is not going to work. I think it might be a bit easier on the feet but then I worry that I won't get enough exercise. yadayadayada....
Thank-you Lord, for fresh hope. Thank-you for leading a friend to read my post and give me info I needed. God is good all the time!
Today I saw the orthepedic Doctor and he took my brace to revamp it. I should have it back by Tuesday. He is on our side about the surgery. He said he has seen too many of those that did not work out well. The problem now is how to get by until Tuesday afternoon. I have to work both Monday and Tuesday forenoons so am trying to figure out how to get by with it since taking off is not really going to make some people happy. (Not a good sentence but I don't feel like changing it.)
I have studied for my final on Monday. Hopefully, I will ace it. Our last birdwatching class. Almost feel sad. I have enjoyed it and will watch my chance to learn more.
Right now I am contemplating taking training to become a medical transcriptionist. I just don't want to spend the money for the training if it is not going to work. I think it might be a bit easier on the feet but then I worry that I won't get enough exercise. yadayadayada....
Thank-you Lord, for fresh hope. Thank-you for leading a friend to read my post and give me info I needed. God is good all the time!
Wednesday, December 11, 2013
Feeling Low
The Doctor is sure that I need to have surgery on my foot. I am pretty much determined that I don't and so is Jerry. The Doctor did admit that the exrays were not as bad as he had feared. That was good news to me. He still wants me to take the MRI but Jerry and I are not feeling it. :) I still have an appointment with the orthepedic Doctor to look at the brace on Friday. The hard part is the pain. I am feeling panicky. What am I going to do? We did two jobs today and by the end of the second one, walking was torture. This thought goes over and over through my mind, "What am I going to do?" I did have it annointed and prayed for when we were in PA last weekend. I need a miracle. I can't even imagine being pain free.
At the same time I am being tempted with watching things too block out the pain and sorrow. I'll try to describe what happens now and again. I can almost imagine what a person addicted to drugs or alcohol goes through. I am sure it is lots worse along with physical symptons as well but the excitement of doing it again sometimes hits me. Almost like a fix or needing a fix. It shows me that in some ways I have lived my life like an addict. Facing problems has never been my strong point. Blocking things out by some form of entertainment, reading or eating has been pretty much my way of dealing with things. Breaking away from this is not easy. May the overcoming power of the Holy Spirit help me reach the other side of this.
At the same time I am being tempted with watching things too block out the pain and sorrow. I'll try to describe what happens now and again. I can almost imagine what a person addicted to drugs or alcohol goes through. I am sure it is lots worse along with physical symptons as well but the excitement of doing it again sometimes hits me. Almost like a fix or needing a fix. It shows me that in some ways I have lived my life like an addict. Facing problems has never been my strong point. Blocking things out by some form of entertainment, reading or eating has been pretty much my way of dealing with things. Breaking away from this is not easy. May the overcoming power of the Holy Spirit help me reach the other side of this.
Friday, December 6, 2013
Doctor, Foot, and Bad News
After not being able to walk when I arrived at Wal-mart on Tuesday, I came home and made two appointments and was working on more. One with my foot Doctor and one with the one who is the brace specialist and the other one I was trying to make was with a massage therapist in hopes she could help it. The appointment with my foot Doctor was today. Not good. He took exrays and wants me to get an MRI in Charlottesville. He thinks the about the only option left is operate and fuse bones, etc. Major surgery and ten weeks off my feet. I told him my kids suggested amputation, he laughed and said, "Tell them to try it first." Then he said, "No, you would have to take care of them." Anyway, I was expecting a major plummeting of spirits on the way home but somehow it did not happen. I feel quite calm about it right now. Also neither Jerry nor I are ready to accept that diagnosis. I want to be annointed and prayed for, maybe this weekend when at Dads. I will go ahead as each step comes but am praying that the MRI will show no tears or fluid, etc. in the tendon. If it shows the tendon is only inflamed and not ruined I want to ask him about other options. I had tried laser and it seemed to help up to a point but then not so much.
I have been thinking about the verse that talks about we women not being afraid with sudden fear but to be like Sarah who called Abraham, Lord. To be calm and quiet on the inside and not be stressed or fearful. Do I have faith or not? Am I trusting? I have been very convicted about how stressed I am. How easily I get ruffled and upset. My prayer continues: Lord, make me the woman and wife my husband needs. Somehow I have more faith and trust when I pray this than when I try to figure out how to become a better person.
I have not written about the grief that dear people are going through. My thoughts and prayers have been much with them and we will be traveling to PA for the funeral. The weather does not look too promising but I am not complaining. I have been longing for colder weather as warm and humid with slow moving flies in December is not my kind of weather. My prayer has been for all the heartache and sorrow that different people are going through, that if the enemy meant it for evil that our Lord would work it for good, that the enemy might be confounded.
"God is good, His mercy brightens all the paths in which we move." Thank-you Jesus even those paths are hard.
I have been thinking about the verse that talks about we women not being afraid with sudden fear but to be like Sarah who called Abraham, Lord. To be calm and quiet on the inside and not be stressed or fearful. Do I have faith or not? Am I trusting? I have been very convicted about how stressed I am. How easily I get ruffled and upset. My prayer continues: Lord, make me the woman and wife my husband needs. Somehow I have more faith and trust when I pray this than when I try to figure out how to become a better person.
I have not written about the grief that dear people are going through. My thoughts and prayers have been much with them and we will be traveling to PA for the funeral. The weather does not look too promising but I am not complaining. I have been longing for colder weather as warm and humid with slow moving flies in December is not my kind of weather. My prayer has been for all the heartache and sorrow that different people are going through, that if the enemy meant it for evil that our Lord would work it for good, that the enemy might be confounded.
"God is good, His mercy brightens all the paths in which we move." Thank-you Jesus even those paths are hard.
Monday, December 2, 2013
Sad Day
This has been a sad day. Someone losing their baby one week before it was due. A facebook friend I barely know whose son was shot. Praying the Lord would minister to all the people involved.
We had a lovely Thanksgiving. All were young folks except Jerry and I. It was not until evening when things had quieted down that I missed my family. I made too much food as usual. Some came in handy but the pumpkin pies did not get eaten so I have to rethink some of this food making.
Am very blue about my foot tonight. It is exceedingly painful. Not sure where it will all end.
The fast is continuing but it is very trying right now. VERY TRYING! I would like nothing better than to drown my sorrows in some good comedy. The other day I reminded myself of a dry drunk. A dry drunk is someone who is no longer drinking but is horribly miserable because of it. Discouragement just calls for relief. I want to be an overcomer. May God show me the way.
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