The Doctor is sure that I need to have surgery on my foot. I am pretty much determined that I don't and so is Jerry. The Doctor did admit that the exrays were not as bad as he had feared. That was good news to me. He still wants me to take the MRI but Jerry and I are not feeling it. :) I still have an appointment with the orthepedic Doctor to look at the brace on Friday. The hard part is the pain. I am feeling panicky. What am I going to do? We did two jobs today and by the end of the second one, walking was torture. This thought goes over and over through my mind, "What am I going to do?" I did have it annointed and prayed for when we were in PA last weekend. I need a miracle. I can't even imagine being pain free.
At the same time I am being tempted with watching things too block out the pain and sorrow. I'll try to describe what happens now and again. I can almost imagine what a person addicted to drugs or alcohol goes through. I am sure it is lots worse along with physical symptons as well but the excitement of doing it again sometimes hits me. Almost like a fix or needing a fix. It shows me that in some ways I have lived my life like an addict. Facing problems has never been my strong point. Blocking things out by some form of entertainment, reading or eating has been pretty much my way of dealing with things. Breaking away from this is not easy. May the overcoming power of the Holy Spirit help me reach the other side of this.
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